Between Black and White

Between Black and White

Between black and white, there lies a lot of gray.

Colors mingle, fading away in a torrent of tears.

I was stuck in the past, longing for yesterday…

Caught up in a tangled web of pain and fears.

Colors mingle, fading away in a torrent of tears,

Heart crushed beneath an avalanche of sorrow.

Caught up in a tangled web of pain and fears…

The hours slipped away with dread for tomorrow.

Heart crushed beneath an avalanche of sorrow,

Tripping over countless lies and a barrage of sins.

The hours slipped away with dread for tomorrow…

In games of a kid – rock paper scissors – nobody wins.

Tripping over countless lies and a barrage of sins,

I could no longer distinguish between truth or reality.

In games of a kid – rock paper scissors – nobody wins…

When merely breathing seems an exercise in futility.

I could no longer distinguish between truth or reality,

Drowning in a deep pool of denial every single night.

When merely breathing seems an exercise in futility…

I lifted my head, opened my eyes to the purest light.

Drowning in a deep pool of denial every single night,

Replaying the tape in countless loops inside my mind.

I lifted my head, opened my eyes to the purest light…

Finally, a place to rest and leave my troubles behind.

Replaying the tape in countless loops inside my mind,

Searching for answers, testing the limits of my sanity.

Finally, a place to rest and leave my troubles behind…

This was the beginning of my quest for serenity.

Searching for answers, testing the limits of my sanity,

Learning secrets of a dark world I didn’t want to know.

This was the beginning of my quest for serenity…

With the stark realization that I had to let you go.

Learning secrets of a dark world I didn’t want to know,

I slowly gained the strength to cast away the strife

With the stark realization that I had to let you go…

In time, you healed, bringing color back into my life.

I slowly gained the strength to cast away the strife;

I was stuck in the past, longing for yesterday.

In time, you healed, bringing color back into my life...

Between black and white, there lies a lot of gray.

Colleen Keller Breuning © 2015

September 22, 2015

This is a deca-pantoum poem dedicated to my son Vincent.  Thank you to all my family and friends who knowingly (and unknowingly) supported our family with love and prayers during our journey…. I am eternally grateful. xoxo